To Blossom

This was written on a prior date just scheduled to be released on this date so I could be far removed from whatever I was feeling at the time of writing this

There’s always been this weird feeling I get whenever I’ve spent time at home for a period of time, that time frame being at least a week, sometimes it feels like less. The last time I’ve put that thought out into the either I used the word suffocating. If I had to think of the words or phrases to explain what I mean by that I would say that it feels like I’ve outgrown the environment and that feeling of suffocation is more of a claustrophobia because there isn’t anymore room for growth here for me. It’s not like it’s a one time feeling that I have or once in a blue moon, but every time I’m back it’s the same feeling. Being very in tune with myself and how I feel about things this is the only sign I’ve ever really needed in guiding me on what’s next.

Looking back on some of my other writings last year (2021) I can see that it was me giving my best effort to do what’s “expected” to some degree. Like when people ask when are you going to settle down, the first question that arises after that is when are you going to pick a place to settle in as if settling down necessarily means being stationary. I tried it, it was cool, but I don’t think it’s for me, at least not in the United States at this time. The reason behind that is a little more nuanced. If we think about this collection of narratives, I believe it was in YOLO Maybe where I said that at the end of 2019 I felt like I was hitting my stride and then 2020 happened. This present moment feels like the end of 2019 except three years into the future. Just like then I’ll be bringing in the new year in a different country (Argentina as opposed to Peru) with a very rough itinerary ahead.

My “journey” has quite a few parallels between two books that I need to reacquaint myself with, one being The Alchemist and the other being Outwitting the Devil. Like Santiago from The Alchemist I’m following my personal legend in search of my “pyramids”, but unlike Santiago my “pyramids” isn’t at the start of my journey. The parallels in regards to Outwitting the Devil aren’t as easy to point out like The Alchemist, rather there are themes that I’m aware. The biggest is the difference between drifters and non-drifters which has stuck with me from the first time I read it amd the other another part that stuck out to me being how non-drifters are constantly under attack by the “Devil”, along with his drifters, to convert them into drifters. Was this a tangent? Yo no se, pero what I can tell you is that I’m ready to go the distance with this journey. Where it will end and how? No idea, but I’m sure however it does it’ll either be a masterpiece or a great ball of fire and I’m fine with it either way.